Sex and spas. Spas and sex. Sounds like the perfect partnership. All that touching and dim lighting, those unctuous creams and heady smells to get you in the mood.
But spas, by and large, take sex out of the equation. Otherwise they would essentially become… well, it doesn’t bear thinking about.
We go to relax, become centred and unblocked. Us spa-going humans have evolved beyond our basic instincts to mean we can lie naked in front of a stranger, allow them to touch us pretty much everywhere and resist arousal.
Well, that’s true for me, anyhow.
I asked my male friends if the same was true for them. Had they ever got… excited by a massage? Turns out around 50 per cent had; must be something in the oils.
But what about spa-ing together as a couple? A white bathrobe is not the sexiest garb; post facial face not anyone’s best look (except maybe Bella Hadid’s). Then there is the couples’ treatment suite. Designed to be romantic, but really? Do you really want to lie side by side while having your knots beaten out?
I did the side by side massage thing once with an ex. He 1) asked the therapist what her qualifications were while she was performing a foot washing ceremony, and b) asked me, when we were left in the Jacuzzi post-massage, if this was the allotted time to do it?
Subsequently, I’ve always thought visiting a spa as a couple more likely to create conflict than carnal desire.